The bible says, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God", Romans 12:2
When I was diagnosed with cancer, I was plucked out of my life as I knew it. I went through a period of emotional turmoil. I was bewildered and asked, "God, why is this happening? I live my life to serve you! Why would you stop me in my tracks?" I did a little kicking and screaming as my life (which I loved) went on "pause". At the same time, I knew in my spirit that His Will is perfect, and that I would see the blessings...eventually. It is just hard to rest in that total comfort, in scary circumstances, when we don't understand the reason. Generally, I'm the type of person that needs to know the reason for things, and then I will jump on board with making it happen. In this case, as in the case of all 'speed bumps' in our lives, I was told I don't need to know or understand the reason, I just need to trust Him, submit to His Will, and know that something is going to happen that will blow my socks off.
God is truly having me go through a season of rest. He has orchestrated it all so flawlessly. My hectic schedule has come to a screeching halt. I now sleep 8-9 hours at night...plus a nap! I read, I rest, I spend time with loved ones, and of course...I show up for all my appointments. With my course of treatment, I get two days every two weeks completely free--where I have no shot, no lab work, no chemo. I was able to reserve a beachfront spot at Silver Strand State Beach for those three nights. My husband and I brought our motor home down and parked it so the big front window is right on the beach! The beautiful Pacific Ocean is our front yard for three days!
Wow! What a beautiful revelation of how God wants to renew my mind. Hour after hour I watch the waves roll in and then gently slide back out. I am amazed by the power of our God. As I watch the birds tirelessly hunt for food, I am reminded of the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:26, "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" As I watch the sun set behind the seemingly endless ocean, I am reminded of His faithfulness. He never changes, He is always faithful. As I walk on the beach and fill my lungs with beautiful fresh air, I am reminded of how blessed I am.
During this time that I have had at the beach, I have realized that God truly wants to be alone with me. He wants my undivided attention. Usually I am unable to discern His Will because my mind gets caught up in things of the world. I am distracted so I don't sense His nearness. I don't know about you, but I kind of push Him to the side while I handle life's issues--even when they are good issues, such as parenting, such as working, such as serving in ministry--they are still issues that are keeping us distracted from His loving presence.
Right now, I am basking in the illumination of God's whispering to me. He says, "Give yourself fully to this adventure of increasing attentiveness to My Presence." My mind is clear right now. I am living in great anticipation of what He is going to do through my illness and healing. I have rest and peace right now. I feel honored to be drawn so close to my Creator right now as He transforms my mind and transforms my life. His words in Jeremiah 29:11 say, "I also know the plans I have for you: plans to prosper you an not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I trust that promise, and can hardly wait to see what His plans are to prosper me.
As I move forward in this battle, as Chemo Friday gets closer, I am clinging to what God gave me, "Give yourself fully to this adventure of increasing attentiveness to My Presence". I will see Him and experience His arms around me in each moment. I want to be like Him and I want my mind renewed by him.
As I approach round 3, I know that "with God all things are possible" Matt 19:26. He is an all powerful God, an almighty God who has power to stop the elements and calm the storm. He is with me in this storm, and I can't wait to see the beautiful results of a good strong storm through which my powerful Creator carried me,
Will you please share with us what your storms have been and how God renewed your mind, and brought you through the storm as a beautiful fresh creation in Christ? I can't wait to read your story and hold it us as a testimony as to God's faithfulness.
Please pray for me that chemo this Friday goes flawlessly--that the medicine does its job on the cancer cells and leaves the rest of my body healthy.
God bless you,
Jane
Sweet Jane, you are such an inspiration to me and my family. We have storms going on all around us right now but I think of you and your strength in God and it reminds me to stop and pray. Stop and listen. Stop and just be quiet for a little while. Then and only then will I hear God say...I'm here my child, I see you! I love you! I will never leave you! Trust in me and we will get through this together.
ReplyDeleteWe had court on Tuesday regarding Aubri and it didn't go as we hoped it would but it wasn't as bad as we thought it could get. Through it all my husband and I had God's peace. It was a wonderful feeling. We knew we could give Aubri over to God and He will protect her. He loves her more than we do. Also tomorrow was suppose to be our auction day on our home but again God has given us grace. He knows we are not financially ready yet so the bank has moved the auction date to April 12th. two more weeks to save up and pack. Our God is always faithful. Yes we will have storms but He will get us through to the other side. His will, His timing not ours. I'm praying for you every day Jane. I can already see how God is using your and your faith to let his Love and Glory shine. ~ Kelly
Jane, since Michelle told me your story, I have not stopped think about you and praying for you. The Lord is an amazing healer,and I know He is holding you in those healing hands. prayers for you and your family as you go through Chemo, surgery and recovery!! Please, if you need anything I am around!!
ReplyDeleteJane, you are an amazing lady and it doesn't surprise me to see you reponding to this trial with such grace and strength. I am praying for your healing, continued peace and strength!! Thank you for sharing the way God is speaking to you. Its an encouragement to me. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteHey Jane, it's Cathy Christensen from Life Church in Temecula/Murrieta. We moved to TN over five years ago. Not sure if you remember me, but I still keep in touch with Heather Clack through FB and saw your blog on there. Just wanted to encourage you in your battle and let you know that I was diagnosed with brain cancer a little over a year ago. Have had surgeries, radiation and at least a year of chemo left, with many challenges in between. Physical battles are hard, but emotional challenges can be even harder. Trying to find things to do every day to make yourself feel like we are making a difference and contributing to life is one of the hardest things. Losing a lot of your independence can also be hard. I just want you to know that you have encouraged me today on a day when I really needed it. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy... and remembering that God wants to give us life to the fullest is an everyday task. Thank you for your honesty, and I will be with you in prayer, perserverance and praise of our Lord and Savior who holds all things in His hands. Sending love today.
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ReplyDeleteMy family is praying for you and your family. This is a trying time for you and everyone around you. Many of the things that you mentioned I have heard of and as you go through this I would like to offer any help you may need. I will keep up to date on here but know that if you need anything let us know.
Jamie Young
One of the biggest storms for me was going through an unexpected and unwanted divorce. My life changed dramatically against my will and without me having a say in it. I was even more devastated when prayer did not “fix” my problem—I thought surely God would put things right. Through my crisis and transition to being a single mom, I had the good fortune to find the Celebrate Recovery ("CR") program that was offered at my church. I was hesitant at first because I thought that anything that resembled a 12-step program was only for people with substance abuse problems. Boy, was I wrong. I took a Step Study class that brought me to a place of sweet renewal. Through loving, Christ-centered guidance I reconnected with my creator. The program helped me look at things how they really were (that’s called stepping out of denial) and how placing my full faith in Christ was my only hope. Although I had already known that Christ was my only hope, the program offered me practical application and direction in my everyday life amidst the storm. The CR program says it’s for anyone who wants to become free from life’s hurts, hang-ups, and habits—-but I would add that taking a Step Study is for anyone who wants to build a closer relationship with God and experience victory and breakthroughs in many facets of their life. In fact, I initially started the program because I had experienced struggles with weight. I actually did experience some breakthroughs in that area (and other unintended breakthroughs). But Christ really brought me to that place so I could have a safe place to deal with my brokenness (and all that that entails) and come out a fresh creation.
ReplyDeleteAs I went through my Step Study class, I still had a difficult divorce ranging from expensive court proceedings, to dealing with an unreasonable ex-spouse, to learning how to manage being a single parent, and moving multiple times before I settled in again. God didn’t necessarily make my circumstances better, but He made me better. I had felt like such a failure for not being able to fix my marriage. I could see no light at the end of the tunnel. But, being a fresh creature meant that I had reconnected with God, that I had learned to truly surrender my problems to Him, that I had learned to truly rely on and lean on God. Through my class God also brought some amazing women in my life that were also going on their own journeys. All of this really is a testimony to how God does renew, is faithful, and will refine you if you are faithful to Him and are willing to wholly put your trust and hope in Him.
Jane, I'm so awestruck by how transparent it is that God is using you in this difficult season. In life, it's sometimes hard to see the fingerprints of God at work. With you, I can see them as clearly as I see the smudged finger markings that my son leaves on the car window-- it's impossible to miss. Your faithfulness, tenacity, and resilience are inspiring. Praying for you.
-Adriana
I love you Jane!! Christ shines so brightly through you. Praying that God brings healing to your body and changes lives through your sharing of your experience in the middle of this storm. lots of hugs for you!!
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