Perspective

Today, I am in day nine of breast cancer treatment but day sixty of this new season in my life. It was sixty days ago that I first heard that the word "cancer" might be associated with my body.   It is funny how your perspective on things changes as you move forward in life.  This morning I was in a line of "cancer patients" waiting to get my Neupagen shot (Neupagen is a medication that stimulates the bone marrow to produce white blood cells to offset the negative effects of chemotherapy. I receive a shot every day for 10 days after every chemo infusion).  I have a new empathy and respect for these people, many of whom have great attitudes in spite of the long battle that they are in the midst of.  My perspective of my own battle changed--it seems very small compared to some.

This week, I also got a new perspective on hair:)  I know that I am getting very close to the day where I will lose my hair.  Last Wednesday when I went to "Michelle's Place" they gave me a free wig.  I was grateful for the gift, but my attitude was bad.  I had not accepted the fact that I will definitely lose my hair, and I was still fighting that whole concept.  When I got home, I tossed it in the closet.  A few days later, I was talking with a good friend who has recently gone through treatment for ovarian cancer.  She gave me some very good advice when I asked her how she dealt with the emotional hurdle of hair loss.  She said, "Jane, I went and got myself a good wig, I learned how to do my make-up really well, and I dressed nicely every day.  Even if I wasn't feeling great, I made sure I looked good and it made a big difference in how I felt about myself."  I loved that advice!  On her recommendation, I contacted www.godivassecretwigs.com and made an appointment at one of their showrooms. What a fun experience!  My daughter and I had a blast.  The consultant truly made us feel special.  We both tried on lots of wigs and laughed till we cried.  I got a darling sassy wig that I love to wear.  Plus...I have a list of several others that I want to purchase later. My wig's name is "Freedom".  New perspective!

Monday I will go into the hospital for a surgery to install the portacath.  This catheter is implanted under my skin in the chest area just below my left clavical.  It has a tube that goes directly into a major artery, and the chemo can be directly infused into it.  This will save me from having an IV started every time.  Also, chemo is very hard on the veins, so the portacath will actually save my veins.  From what I understand, I can have blood draws through it as well. I'm all for LESS needle sticks:)

Chemo Round Two will be Thursday next week.  I am praying that my body will react as well to round two as it did to round one.  After that, I will be 1/4 of the way done with my chemo.

Perspective changes as we process through storms in our lives and focus on blessings.  I have realized amazing blessings in my life this past week.  I thank God for:  my family, all of whom are so caring and actively involved in overcoming this storm; for loyal and beautiful friendships; for rekindled friendships that I had lost contact with; for chemotherapy that is doing its job and not making me sick; for the amazing doctors and their staff that are sweet and caring even when they deal with grumpy patients; for food cravings rather than nausea; for fresh air, sunshine, and cool breezes; for sassy wigs...

Thank you for continuing to hold me and my family up in prayer.  This week, will you please pray that the hands of the surgeon and anesthesiologist on Monday will be guided by The Great Physician, Jesus Christ; and that my white blood count will stay up in the "safe" range.

I would love to hear how storms and blessings have changed your perspective.
Love, Jane