The bible says, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God", Romans 12:2
When I was diagnosed with cancer, I was plucked out of my life as I knew it. I went through a period of emotional turmoil. I was bewildered and asked, "God, why is this happening? I live my life to serve you! Why would you stop me in my tracks?" I did a little kicking and screaming as my life (which I loved) went on "pause". At the same time, I knew in my spirit that His Will is perfect, and that I would see the blessings...eventually. It is just hard to rest in that total comfort, in scary circumstances, when we don't understand the reason. Generally, I'm the type of person that needs to know the reason for things, and then I will jump on board with making it happen. In this case, as in the case of all 'speed bumps' in our lives, I was told I don't need to know or understand the reason, I just need to trust Him, submit to His Will, and know that something is going to happen that will blow my socks off.
God is truly having me go through a season of rest. He has orchestrated it all so flawlessly. My hectic schedule has come to a screeching halt. I now sleep 8-9 hours at night...plus a nap! I read, I rest, I spend time with loved ones, and of course...I show up for all my appointments. With my course of treatment, I get two days every two weeks completely free--where I have no shot, no lab work, no chemo. I was able to reserve a beachfront spot at Silver Strand State Beach for those three nights. My husband and I brought our motor home down and parked it so the big front window is right on the beach! The beautiful Pacific Ocean is our front yard for three days!
Wow! What a beautiful revelation of how God wants to renew my mind. Hour after hour I watch the waves roll in and then gently slide back out. I am amazed by the power of our God. As I watch the birds tirelessly hunt for food, I am reminded of the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:26, "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" As I watch the sun set behind the seemingly endless ocean, I am reminded of His faithfulness. He never changes, He is always faithful. As I walk on the beach and fill my lungs with beautiful fresh air, I am reminded of how blessed I am.
During this time that I have had at the beach, I have realized that God truly wants to be alone with me. He wants my undivided attention. Usually I am unable to discern His Will because my mind gets caught up in things of the world. I am distracted so I don't sense His nearness. I don't know about you, but I kind of push Him to the side while I handle life's issues--even when they are good issues, such as parenting, such as working, such as serving in ministry--they are still issues that are keeping us distracted from His loving presence.
Right now, I am basking in the illumination of God's whispering to me. He says, "Give yourself fully to this adventure of increasing attentiveness to My Presence." My mind is clear right now. I am living in great anticipation of what He is going to do through my illness and healing. I have rest and peace right now. I feel honored to be drawn so close to my Creator right now as He transforms my mind and transforms my life. His words in Jeremiah 29:11 say, "I also know the plans I have for you: plans to prosper you an not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I trust that promise, and can hardly wait to see what His plans are to prosper me.
As I move forward in this battle, as Chemo Friday gets closer, I am clinging to what God gave me, "Give yourself fully to this adventure of increasing attentiveness to My Presence". I will see Him and experience His arms around me in each moment. I want to be like Him and I want my mind renewed by him.
As I approach round 3, I know that "with God all things are possible" Matt 19:26. He is an all powerful God, an almighty God who has power to stop the elements and calm the storm. He is with me in this storm, and I can't wait to see the beautiful results of a good strong storm through which my powerful Creator carried me,
Will you please share with us what your storms have been and how God renewed your mind, and brought you through the storm as a beautiful fresh creation in Christ? I can't wait to read your story and hold it us as a testimony as to God's faithfulness.
Please pray for me that chemo this Friday goes flawlessly--that the medicine does its job on the cancer cells and leaves the rest of my body healthy.
God bless you,
Jane
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
2 rounds down, 6 to go
I'm so happy to say I have two doses of chemo done! That means I am 1/4 of the way done with the chemo treatment part of this journey.
In my last post, I complained a little bit about the discomfort of the porta cath procedure...but I sure was grateful for it on the day of chemo (another example of perspective change). It made the infusion so easy. The nurse was very cautious and made absolutely sure that the tubing was in place because the effects of the Adriamycin leaking out of the vein is very destructive to the tissue. I was premedicated with antinausea medicine, and we started the infusion. I made wiser choices about what I ate for lunch after the infusion this time, so because of that and lots of prayer, I wasn't too nauseated. It was much less intense than last time. I did feel under the weather Thursday and Friday, but by Saturday I felt pretty good.
Two more major things happened on Thursday--My hair fell out, and I found out that because of the type of cancer we are fighting, I will be having infusions of an antibody (Herceptin) once a week for one year.
I had been preparing for the time that my hair would come out, but there is really no way to completely emotionally prepare. Of course all my sons have buzzed heads, so they are standing in unison with me:) I spent two days with my hair coming out in clumps, so on Friday night Tami and Amy got out the clippers and buzzed my head. Wow!!! That was a weird experience. I don't like the "look" much, but I must admit...showering with a bald head is awesome--it is like a scalp massage. Now I will be able to participate in the discussions my sons have about how they wash and condition their scalps:):):) We took video, but I don't think I'm ready to share that yet. I have lots of knit hats and two wigs, but sometimes it just feels better to have nothing on my head. However, that is a look I am not quite comfortable with yet. Is that vanity???
The second new news I got on Thursday was about the need for weekly infusions of Herceptin for one year. From what I understand, breast cancer will be Estrogen, Progesterone, and Her-2-Neu receptive, either positive or negative. My breast cancer is all three positive. Because of this I will take a daily pill for 5 years that will block my body from making Estrogen and Progesterone. Her-2-Neu is a protein that the cancer cells are overproducing. This type of cancer tends to be more aggressive. (I guess that explains why I had a completely negative mammogram one year ago, and today it is where it is). They have found that infusions of an antibody (1-3 weeks apart) are very effective in treating this type of cancer cells. My doctor says he likes to follow the most conservative treatment plan which would be infusions once a week. If you are interested in more information on this, I looked it up on this website, http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/breast-cancer/AN00495, I am grateful for this treatment, and was very happy to learn that there are no side effects like nausea, hair loss, fatigue, etc. My doctor said I will just come in once a week for the one hour appointment and then go on with my life as normal. Hurray for "Normal"--that is what I am looking forward to.
So, life moves forward! I am so grateful for the easy infusion of chemo this week. I am grateful for the mild side effects. I am grateful for my daughter and daughters-in-law, helping me to be "fun and stylish" through this storm:) Praise God for strength and healing! I thank God for wrapping His arms around me during this storm. My family and I are so thankful for the meals that our church has brought to us. I'm thankful for amazing friends. I am thankful for Answered Prayer!
Please continue to stand beside us in prayer. Please pray that God continues to heal my body, pray that this storm will be used to help others who may be in the middle of a storm in their own life.
In my last post, I complained a little bit about the discomfort of the porta cath procedure...but I sure was grateful for it on the day of chemo (another example of perspective change). It made the infusion so easy. The nurse was very cautious and made absolutely sure that the tubing was in place because the effects of the Adriamycin leaking out of the vein is very destructive to the tissue. I was premedicated with antinausea medicine, and we started the infusion. I made wiser choices about what I ate for lunch after the infusion this time, so because of that and lots of prayer, I wasn't too nauseated. It was much less intense than last time. I did feel under the weather Thursday and Friday, but by Saturday I felt pretty good.
Two more major things happened on Thursday--My hair fell out, and I found out that because of the type of cancer we are fighting, I will be having infusions of an antibody (Herceptin) once a week for one year.
I had been preparing for the time that my hair would come out, but there is really no way to completely emotionally prepare. Of course all my sons have buzzed heads, so they are standing in unison with me:) I spent two days with my hair coming out in clumps, so on Friday night Tami and Amy got out the clippers and buzzed my head. Wow!!! That was a weird experience. I don't like the "look" much, but I must admit...showering with a bald head is awesome--it is like a scalp massage. Now I will be able to participate in the discussions my sons have about how they wash and condition their scalps:):):) We took video, but I don't think I'm ready to share that yet. I have lots of knit hats and two wigs, but sometimes it just feels better to have nothing on my head. However, that is a look I am not quite comfortable with yet. Is that vanity???
The second new news I got on Thursday was about the need for weekly infusions of Herceptin for one year. From what I understand, breast cancer will be Estrogen, Progesterone, and Her-2-Neu receptive, either positive or negative. My breast cancer is all three positive. Because of this I will take a daily pill for 5 years that will block my body from making Estrogen and Progesterone. Her-2-Neu is a protein that the cancer cells are overproducing. This type of cancer tends to be more aggressive. (I guess that explains why I had a completely negative mammogram one year ago, and today it is where it is). They have found that infusions of an antibody (1-3 weeks apart) are very effective in treating this type of cancer cells. My doctor says he likes to follow the most conservative treatment plan which would be infusions once a week. If you are interested in more information on this, I looked it up on this website, http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/breast-cancer/AN00495, I am grateful for this treatment, and was very happy to learn that there are no side effects like nausea, hair loss, fatigue, etc. My doctor said I will just come in once a week for the one hour appointment and then go on with my life as normal. Hurray for "Normal"--that is what I am looking forward to.
So, life moves forward! I am so grateful for the easy infusion of chemo this week. I am grateful for the mild side effects. I am grateful for my daughter and daughters-in-law, helping me to be "fun and stylish" through this storm:) Praise God for strength and healing! I thank God for wrapping His arms around me during this storm. My family and I are so thankful for the meals that our church has brought to us. I'm thankful for amazing friends. I am thankful for Answered Prayer!
Please continue to stand beside us in prayer. Please pray that God continues to heal my body, pray that this storm will be used to help others who may be in the middle of a storm in their own life.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Praying for renewed strength
During this season of life I have to pray for renewed strength daily. Even though my circumstances are really not THAT bad, even though the Apostle Paul says to be content no matter what your circumstances are, even though I DO find my strength in Jesus, once in a while I just melt down.
I am going to be honest...the last couple days have been hard. The surgery I had on Monday (installation of the port a cath) was much tougher than I had anticipated. For some reason, I thought it would be a "nothing" procedure. It actually was a big deal. The procedure was done in the hospital in the operating room with local anesthesia and IV doses of drugs to make me go to "lala land"--administered by the anesthesiologist. The surgeon makes a small incision in the lower neck where the tubing (or catheter) attaches to the internal jugular vein, through a tunnel and passes over the collar bone (under the skin). The port is implanted into the skin in the upper chest below the collar bone. I woke up with a stiff neck from laying on the operating table with my head turned to the left for so long, but other than that I felt okay...UNTIL the local anesthesia wore off. I was amazed at how sore I was!
My meltdown came later the night of surgery when I was trying to get ready for bed. Note to self--anytime you have surgery in the chest area, don't wear a pull over shirt! I stood next to my bed for about 5 minutes trying to figure out how to pull my shirt over my head. As I was pondering this situation, I looked down and saw the 3 new scarves I had bought to be ready for the time when my hair "releases" (btw--"release" is the term they use instead of "fall out"). As I looked at the scarves, I lost it..Just started crying, "I don't want to do this!!!" My poor husband woke up to me in a mess of tears:( I'm thankful for his hugs.
The soreness was bad, but I guess it was my emotional exhaustion more than anything else that got to me. The discomfort was definitely enough to make me need pain medication through the next day. ...then the pain medication brings nausea. Ugh!
In my daily time with God, I have been going through the book of Matthew. Today God gave me the exact words that I needed for strength and comfort--words of Jesus Himself, Matt 11:28-30, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." I find peace right there!
I had my blood drawn today. Please pray that my white count is staying up in the safe range. Tomorrow I have round 2 of chemotherapy. I am requesting prayer for smooth sailing through chemo round 2. Please pray that the medicine will do its job and kill the cancer cells but not damage my body in any other way. Please pray for protection against spiritual warfare.
I am grateful for family, for prayer warriors, for God's strength, for God's comfort, ...and for new wheels for my husband's dune buggy--he is a happy camper:)
I am going to be honest...the last couple days have been hard. The surgery I had on Monday (installation of the port a cath) was much tougher than I had anticipated. For some reason, I thought it would be a "nothing" procedure. It actually was a big deal. The procedure was done in the hospital in the operating room with local anesthesia and IV doses of drugs to make me go to "lala land"--administered by the anesthesiologist. The surgeon makes a small incision in the lower neck where the tubing (or catheter) attaches to the internal jugular vein, through a tunnel and passes over the collar bone (under the skin). The port is implanted into the skin in the upper chest below the collar bone. I woke up with a stiff neck from laying on the operating table with my head turned to the left for so long, but other than that I felt okay...UNTIL the local anesthesia wore off. I was amazed at how sore I was!
My meltdown came later the night of surgery when I was trying to get ready for bed. Note to self--anytime you have surgery in the chest area, don't wear a pull over shirt! I stood next to my bed for about 5 minutes trying to figure out how to pull my shirt over my head. As I was pondering this situation, I looked down and saw the 3 new scarves I had bought to be ready for the time when my hair "releases" (btw--"release" is the term they use instead of "fall out"). As I looked at the scarves, I lost it..Just started crying, "I don't want to do this!!!" My poor husband woke up to me in a mess of tears:( I'm thankful for his hugs.
The soreness was bad, but I guess it was my emotional exhaustion more than anything else that got to me. The discomfort was definitely enough to make me need pain medication through the next day. ...then the pain medication brings nausea. Ugh!
In my daily time with God, I have been going through the book of Matthew. Today God gave me the exact words that I needed for strength and comfort--words of Jesus Himself, Matt 11:28-30, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." I find peace right there!
I had my blood drawn today. Please pray that my white count is staying up in the safe range. Tomorrow I have round 2 of chemotherapy. I am requesting prayer for smooth sailing through chemo round 2. Please pray that the medicine will do its job and kill the cancer cells but not damage my body in any other way. Please pray for protection against spiritual warfare.
I am grateful for family, for prayer warriors, for God's strength, for God's comfort, ...and for new wheels for my husband's dune buggy--he is a happy camper:)
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Perspective
Today, I am in day nine of breast cancer treatment but day sixty of this new season in my life. It was sixty days ago that I first heard that the word "cancer" might be associated with my body. It is funny how your perspective on things changes as you move forward in life. This morning I was in a line of "cancer patients" waiting to get my Neupagen shot (Neupagen is a medication that stimulates the bone marrow to produce white blood cells to offset the negative effects of chemotherapy. I receive a shot every day for 10 days after every chemo infusion). I have a new empathy and respect for these people, many of whom have great attitudes in spite of the long battle that they are in the midst of. My perspective of my own battle changed--it seems very small compared to some.
This week, I also got a new perspective on hair:) I know that I am getting very close to the day where I will lose my hair. Last Wednesday when I went to "Michelle's Place" they gave me a free wig. I was grateful for the gift, but my attitude was bad. I had not accepted the fact that I will definitely lose my hair, and I was still fighting that whole concept. When I got home, I tossed it in the closet. A few days later, I was talking with a good friend who has recently gone through treatment for ovarian cancer. She gave me some very good advice when I asked her how she dealt with the emotional hurdle of hair loss. She said, "Jane, I went and got myself a good wig, I learned how to do my make-up really well, and I dressed nicely every day. Even if I wasn't feeling great, I made sure I looked good and it made a big difference in how I felt about myself." I loved that advice! On her recommendation, I contacted www.godivassecretwigs.com and made an appointment at one of their showrooms. What a fun experience! My daughter and I had a blast. The consultant truly made us feel special. We both tried on lots of wigs and laughed till we cried. I got a darling sassy wig that I love to wear. Plus...I have a list of several others that I want to purchase later. My wig's name is "Freedom". New perspective!
Monday I will go into the hospital for a surgery to install the portacath. This catheter is implanted under my skin in the chest area just below my left clavical. It has a tube that goes directly into a major artery, and the chemo can be directly infused into it. This will save me from having an IV started every time. Also, chemo is very hard on the veins, so the portacath will actually save my veins. From what I understand, I can have blood draws through it as well. I'm all for LESS needle sticks:)
Chemo Round Two will be Thursday next week. I am praying that my body will react as well to round two as it did to round one. After that, I will be 1/4 of the way done with my chemo.
Perspective changes as we process through storms in our lives and focus on blessings. I have realized amazing blessings in my life this past week. I thank God for: my family, all of whom are so caring and actively involved in overcoming this storm; for loyal and beautiful friendships; for rekindled friendships that I had lost contact with; for chemotherapy that is doing its job and not making me sick; for the amazing doctors and their staff that are sweet and caring even when they deal with grumpy patients; for food cravings rather than nausea; for fresh air, sunshine, and cool breezes; for sassy wigs...
Thank you for continuing to hold me and my family up in prayer. This week, will you please pray that the hands of the surgeon and anesthesiologist on Monday will be guided by The Great Physician, Jesus Christ; and that my white blood count will stay up in the "safe" range.
I would love to hear how storms and blessings have changed your perspective.
Love, Jane
This week, I also got a new perspective on hair:) I know that I am getting very close to the day where I will lose my hair. Last Wednesday when I went to "Michelle's Place" they gave me a free wig. I was grateful for the gift, but my attitude was bad. I had not accepted the fact that I will definitely lose my hair, and I was still fighting that whole concept. When I got home, I tossed it in the closet. A few days later, I was talking with a good friend who has recently gone through treatment for ovarian cancer. She gave me some very good advice when I asked her how she dealt with the emotional hurdle of hair loss. She said, "Jane, I went and got myself a good wig, I learned how to do my make-up really well, and I dressed nicely every day. Even if I wasn't feeling great, I made sure I looked good and it made a big difference in how I felt about myself." I loved that advice! On her recommendation, I contacted www.godivassecretwigs.com and made an appointment at one of their showrooms. What a fun experience! My daughter and I had a blast. The consultant truly made us feel special. We both tried on lots of wigs and laughed till we cried. I got a darling sassy wig that I love to wear. Plus...I have a list of several others that I want to purchase later. My wig's name is "Freedom". New perspective!
Monday I will go into the hospital for a surgery to install the portacath. This catheter is implanted under my skin in the chest area just below my left clavical. It has a tube that goes directly into a major artery, and the chemo can be directly infused into it. This will save me from having an IV started every time. Also, chemo is very hard on the veins, so the portacath will actually save my veins. From what I understand, I can have blood draws through it as well. I'm all for LESS needle sticks:)
Chemo Round Two will be Thursday next week. I am praying that my body will react as well to round two as it did to round one. After that, I will be 1/4 of the way done with my chemo.
Perspective changes as we process through storms in our lives and focus on blessings. I have realized amazing blessings in my life this past week. I thank God for: my family, all of whom are so caring and actively involved in overcoming this storm; for loyal and beautiful friendships; for rekindled friendships that I had lost contact with; for chemotherapy that is doing its job and not making me sick; for the amazing doctors and their staff that are sweet and caring even when they deal with grumpy patients; for food cravings rather than nausea; for fresh air, sunshine, and cool breezes; for sassy wigs...
Thank you for continuing to hold me and my family up in prayer. This week, will you please pray that the hands of the surgeon and anesthesiologist on Monday will be guided by The Great Physician, Jesus Christ; and that my white blood count will stay up in the "safe" range.
I would love to hear how storms and blessings have changed your perspective.
Love, Jane
Saturday, March 3, 2012
One round down, seven to go
Yesterday I had my first infusion of chemotherapy. In some ways it was not as bad as I thought it would be. Tami and I were up bright and early and at the lab at 6:00 am for a baseline CBC. The doctor will be keeping close track of my white count, red count and platelets through this whole process, so I will have blood draws every week.
Chemo appointment was at 9:30. Since I don't have the "portacath" yet, the nurse started an IV on me. They gave me two high powered anti-nausea medications and then started the Chemo. I received two different chemo drugs--Adriamycin and Cytoxan. The nurse told me that the Adriamycin is the one that will definitely make me lose my hair :(:(:(. So much for my hope of being in the 30% of chemo patients that don't lose their hair! Thanks to "Michelle's Place" in Temecula, I now have a wig and two hats. Michelle's Place is a nonprofit in Temecula which is a resource center for the women with breast cancer. You can check it out at http://www.michellesplace.org/
Well, the infusion was easy! I sat in a recliner with my feet up and read my book. I still felt great when we left and went out to lunch. By the time I got home, I was pretty sleepy so I went upstairs to take a nap. When I woke up from my nap was when I got hit with the nausea. It was a pretty tough afternoon and evening. The nausea was hard to deal with, but it never got out of control. Praise God--I went to sleep last night, slept all night and woke up feeling much better.
I thank God for answered prayer of minimal sickness with the chemo. Today I am just a little tired and have occasional waves of queasiness. I'm learning that living with chemo has lots of warnings, guidelines, and helpful tips. I'm in a whole new learning curve. I have nicknamed my daughter "Sarge"...she is keeping me in line.
While I was concerned about how my body would react to the chemo, I am excited about taking this step in the battle against this nasty disease. The battle began as we all started praying together for healing and strength. I am so thankful for my family and friends--friends that are close and friends that are far away (there are people praying for me that I don't even know, in states where I never have been). I can't even imagine having more support than I have.
I saw that Pastor John posted on Facebook a verse that I hold close in my heart, Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". It looks like that will be a key verse for the new teaching series starting tomorrow at Sandals Church "Getting Past your Past". This is going to be a great series! I'm bummed I won't be there for it, but I look forward to catching the video this week. I know that God is going to use this season in my life, and I can't wait to see the plan He has for my future.
Chemo appointment was at 9:30. Since I don't have the "portacath" yet, the nurse started an IV on me. They gave me two high powered anti-nausea medications and then started the Chemo. I received two different chemo drugs--Adriamycin and Cytoxan. The nurse told me that the Adriamycin is the one that will definitely make me lose my hair :(:(:(. So much for my hope of being in the 30% of chemo patients that don't lose their hair! Thanks to "Michelle's Place" in Temecula, I now have a wig and two hats. Michelle's Place is a nonprofit in Temecula which is a resource center for the women with breast cancer. You can check it out at http://www.michellesplace.org/
Well, the infusion was easy! I sat in a recliner with my feet up and read my book. I still felt great when we left and went out to lunch. By the time I got home, I was pretty sleepy so I went upstairs to take a nap. When I woke up from my nap was when I got hit with the nausea. It was a pretty tough afternoon and evening. The nausea was hard to deal with, but it never got out of control. Praise God--I went to sleep last night, slept all night and woke up feeling much better.
I thank God for answered prayer of minimal sickness with the chemo. Today I am just a little tired and have occasional waves of queasiness. I'm learning that living with chemo has lots of warnings, guidelines, and helpful tips. I'm in a whole new learning curve. I have nicknamed my daughter "Sarge"...she is keeping me in line.
While I was concerned about how my body would react to the chemo, I am excited about taking this step in the battle against this nasty disease. The battle began as we all started praying together for healing and strength. I am so thankful for my family and friends--friends that are close and friends that are far away (there are people praying for me that I don't even know, in states where I never have been). I can't even imagine having more support than I have.
I saw that Pastor John posted on Facebook a verse that I hold close in my heart, Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". It looks like that will be a key verse for the new teaching series starting tomorrow at Sandals Church "Getting Past your Past". This is going to be a great series! I'm bummed I won't be there for it, but I look forward to catching the video this week. I know that God is going to use this season in my life, and I can't wait to see the plan He has for my future.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Game on! We're ready to beat this thing!
The past 2 days have felt like a blur. Yesterday morning I saw the Oncologist. He explained the details of what my treatment would entail. I had to clarify that I heard him right when he said 8 doses of chemo--one dose every other week. Well, I am not a math wiz, but when I did some quick multiplication, I was horrified! 16 weeks of chemotherapy = 4 months! That was not at all what I was planning on.
Anyone that knows me very well, knows that it will be super hard for me to slow down and step away from my work and my activities for that length of time. I'm pretty controlling when it comes to schedules and calendars...and this is so not my plan, and it is so out of my control.
The doctor was excellent about explaining what the medications are, what they do, what studies have shown about the frequency and the duration of the administration of chemotherapy, the risks, the complications, and the success rate. Fortunately, my wonderful friend, Vicki, was with me because she absorbed everything that I was missing because I was still in shock about the four months of chemotherapy.
In this blog, my desire is to give God glory for every praise, for every victory and for ultimate healing. He is the Great Physician, and He is the one that put it on my heart to share this journey with anyone who would like to travel it with me. I also desire to be real and honest about the emotions that try to take us for a ride during the storms in our lives. I experience those emotions, but I want to be careful not to let them keep me down. We have an adversary, an enemy who will jump on those emotions to get us discouraged as a "thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy", John 10:10a.
Over the last 7 weeks, I have felt like I was kicked in the stomach more than once. It seems like I would just get used to one new reality, and I would get hit with another. Yesterday the blow I received was the fact that I had misunderstood what the duration of the chemo would be--not 4-6 weeks as I had thought, but 16 weeks! Then mastectomy, and then 6 weeks of radiation. Oh my goodness! I knew that I was being told to take a pause in my life as I know it, but I did not understand that it would be a 6-7 month pause.
I felt down and frustrated for a while yesterday. Thank God for my friends, thank God for my family, thank God for my church, thank God for the people who love me, hang out with me, encourage me, and pray for me. By the end of the day, I am standing up strong again knowing that I serve a God who is more powerful than any stinking cancer cells.
Today, I had an appointment at the oncologist's office for "Chemo Education". My husband had to work, but my daughter, Tami, and my daughter-in-law, Amy, went with me. That was great because, again, it is way too much information to understand by myself. In my mind, I was going to start chemo next week. Well...once again, I learned that my plans are not His plans. Chemo will start TODAY (Friday) at 9:30 am.
So my life is filling up with things that I had never imagined doing--Blood draw at 6am Friday; Chemo at 9:30. I will be going into the Oncology office every day for 10 days after each chemo treatment for an injection of "Neuprogen", which is a medication that stimulates the production of white blood cells. In the meantime, I will be getting a Cardiac Echo to make sure that my heart intake and output ratio is functioning correctly. On Monday, March 12, I will have the Portacath installed for the future doses of chemo.
Will you please stand beside me in prayer and praise--Praise reports: God has given me and my family an amazing support system; I am loving the time I am spending with my family; The cancer has not spread to any other parts of my body! Prayer requests: Chemo will go smoothly, my body will respond well and not have negative reaction; The cancer will be completely GONE; My family will have peace as we go through this process.
I want to finish this post with what Jesus says in the rest of John 10:10, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
Anyone that knows me very well, knows that it will be super hard for me to slow down and step away from my work and my activities for that length of time. I'm pretty controlling when it comes to schedules and calendars...and this is so not my plan, and it is so out of my control.
The doctor was excellent about explaining what the medications are, what they do, what studies have shown about the frequency and the duration of the administration of chemotherapy, the risks, the complications, and the success rate. Fortunately, my wonderful friend, Vicki, was with me because she absorbed everything that I was missing because I was still in shock about the four months of chemotherapy.
In this blog, my desire is to give God glory for every praise, for every victory and for ultimate healing. He is the Great Physician, and He is the one that put it on my heart to share this journey with anyone who would like to travel it with me. I also desire to be real and honest about the emotions that try to take us for a ride during the storms in our lives. I experience those emotions, but I want to be careful not to let them keep me down. We have an adversary, an enemy who will jump on those emotions to get us discouraged as a "thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy", John 10:10a.
Over the last 7 weeks, I have felt like I was kicked in the stomach more than once. It seems like I would just get used to one new reality, and I would get hit with another. Yesterday the blow I received was the fact that I had misunderstood what the duration of the chemo would be--not 4-6 weeks as I had thought, but 16 weeks! Then mastectomy, and then 6 weeks of radiation. Oh my goodness! I knew that I was being told to take a pause in my life as I know it, but I did not understand that it would be a 6-7 month pause.
I felt down and frustrated for a while yesterday. Thank God for my friends, thank God for my family, thank God for my church, thank God for the people who love me, hang out with me, encourage me, and pray for me. By the end of the day, I am standing up strong again knowing that I serve a God who is more powerful than any stinking cancer cells.
Today, I had an appointment at the oncologist's office for "Chemo Education". My husband had to work, but my daughter, Tami, and my daughter-in-law, Amy, went with me. That was great because, again, it is way too much information to understand by myself. In my mind, I was going to start chemo next week. Well...once again, I learned that my plans are not His plans. Chemo will start TODAY (Friday) at 9:30 am.
So my life is filling up with things that I had never imagined doing--Blood draw at 6am Friday; Chemo at 9:30. I will be going into the Oncology office every day for 10 days after each chemo treatment for an injection of "Neuprogen", which is a medication that stimulates the production of white blood cells. In the meantime, I will be getting a Cardiac Echo to make sure that my heart intake and output ratio is functioning correctly. On Monday, March 12, I will have the Portacath installed for the future doses of chemo.
Will you please stand beside me in prayer and praise--Praise reports: God has given me and my family an amazing support system; I am loving the time I am spending with my family; The cancer has not spread to any other parts of my body! Prayer requests: Chemo will go smoothly, my body will respond well and not have negative reaction; The cancer will be completely GONE; My family will have peace as we go through this process.
I want to finish this post with what Jesus says in the rest of John 10:10, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
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