Test Results are in, we're moving forward

I think we have reached the turning point in this first leg of the journey.  Tests are done, and most of the results are in. I say "most" of the results are in because the punch biopsy of the skin needs to be sent to another lab for further study.  The surgeon and the oncologist are concerned that the redness of the skin could possibly indicate that the cancer has become "Inflammatory breast cancer".  Both specialists stated that it does not look like the typical text book case of IBC, but they have enough concern to warrant biopsy. Results are back today but are  rather inconclusive, showing "abnormal"--not "atypical" and not cancer, but "abnormal".  The pathologist has sent it for further study and second opinion.  Unfortunately, the fact that the result is inconclusive requires treatment as if it was positive for IBC. I was already mentally and emotionally prepared for that, so I am feeling okay with it.  The treatment is chemotherapy, then mastectomy, then radiation.

The PET scan results show that the cancer has involved the lymph nodes:( That news kind of sent me on the downhill part of the roller coaster, but Praise God...I got a huge breath of fresh air and wave of relief when I learned that there is NO METASTASIS to any other part of my body.  I completely trust God, but I have to admit that the little nagging thought that the cancer, which just came out of the blue, could have metastasized to another part of my body.  ANSWERED PRAYER--it has not!  

The surgeon is starting the authorization process for me to have a "Port-a-cath" surgically installed. (This is a a small medical appliance that is installed beneath the skin. A catheter connects the port to a vein. Under the skin, the port has a septum through which drugs can be injected and blood samples can be drawn many times, usually with less discomfort for the patient than a more typical "needle stick")

On Wednesday morning, Feb. 29, at 7:45, I will see the Oncologist. He will write the orders for the chemotherapy.  I will know exactly what the game plan is after that appointment.  

I am so incredibly grateful for my family, my friends, my church, and all the churches (some that I know and some that I don't know) which are praying for me.  Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight."

Hurry up and wait

This week is a strange time.  I am sick but I'm not sick!  I am in a season of  "Hurry up and wait".

When I first saw the doctor to get the order for mammogram and ultrasound, she said, "Now, this is urgent! You must follow up diligently".  Well, I did, but had to wait a whole week for the tests.  Next, I found out that the ultrasound shows probable cancer-- I must have a biopsy!  I am told, "Call immediately and get the appointment".  Strange how the medical profession is now.  I made the call immediately, but I was told that the radiologist was reviewing my films and I will get a call back from the coordinator with an appointment...which could take up to a week.  A week just for the phone call!  Finally, after one full week, I get the awaited call, and I am told that I am scheduled for biopsy one week later!  I must admit, my patience was wearing a little thin.  I said, (with a little bit of attitude) "Well the doctor that reviewed my films must not be very worried about this if I have to wait a week to have the biopsy done."  I was kindly reminded that they have a lot of patients, and that is their next opening.  One week later, the biopsy was done, and the doctor found that there is not one lesion, but three!  Oh my goodness...Exactly one year ago I had a clear mammogram!  One week later I got the bad news that I have breast cancer.  That appointment set the tone for the next season of learning a new language, meeting new doctors, experiencing new emotions, and growing to a new level of faith.  A new season of total surrender to My Creator who knew me before I was even formed in my mother's womb.  Jeremiah 1:5, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;" 

One week later, I saw the surgeon and the Oncologist.  They ordered PET scan (which was scheduled for...guess when...one week later).  They did a biopsy of the skin because they have strong concern that possibly the cancer has infiltrated and is now "Inflammatory Breast Cancer".

Now, all tests are done and I am in the "in between" week. I am focusing on totally releasing my ministry work, and getting my 'household in order' in preparation for some down time.  I will see the Surgeon on Monday, 2/27, for results of PET Scan, results of skin biopsy and suture removal.  I will see the Oncologist on Wednesday, 2/29, which is when we will get the "game plan" for my treatment.  

All of these "One weeks" add up to Seven--Wow, that is the number of perfection!  I know God has a plan, and His plans are perfect.  I am reminded in Jeremiah 29:11-13, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." 

So, right now I am in the season of "Hurry up and wait".  God's timing is perfect.  Next week, after seven weeks of waiting, it will be "Game on!".

Please continue to pray.  Specifically, I am asking for prayer that the PET scan will show the cancer has not spread, for prayer that I will not be sick through chemotherapy, that my surgery will go well and recovery will be miraculous, and that my family will have peace Through all this, I pray that God will be glorified and that others will be blessed as we go through this journey.

Having faith that Jesus will calm our storms

God is constantly preparing us for ministry.  In the fall I took a Homiletics class.  The sermon that I preached was on "The Remedy for Worry"--Imagine that!  They say a person learns the most about something when they prepare to teach on the subject.  God is certainly using what He taught me during that preparation. 


Jesus calms our storms because he is All Powerful, Almighty, and Always Present. 


 Looking at the text of Mark 4:35-41, Jesus had been teaching all day from a boat on the Sea of Galilee.  At the end of the day, in the evening, He said to the disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.”  Well, Jesus was exhausted.  I imagine the disciples were also. They are sailing across the sea and a huge storm comes up.  The location of the Sea of Galilee makes for perfect conditions for raging violent turmoil in the water.  The Sea is located in a deep basin in Israel surrounded on the east by high mountains, and on the west by hills with gorges through which the wind comes and sweeps across the water and raises the water very quickly. 

Well, the waves were violent, tossing the boat here and there and crashing onto the boat causing it to fill up with water. 

Panic!  There is a storm!  It is dark!  Our boat is filling up with water and is going to sink!  We are going to drown! 

Do you think the disciples WORRIED?  Do you think they had some ANXIETY? 

Well let’s go to Mark 4:38-41 and see what happened, “…The disciples woke (Jesus) and said TEACHER (In the synoptic gospel, Luke 8:24 this is doubled—MASTER MASTER, demonstrating their life and death earnestness), don’t you care if we drown?  (Jesus) got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.  He said to His disciples, ‘Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

 

For the disciples there was natural apprehension under danger, but there was unbelief in their fear which made the disciples speak this way.  You’ve got to understand this—when Jesus rebuked the wind and spoke to the sea with the two commands “Quiet! Be still!”, He was demonstrating the relationship between Himself, the Master, and the elements.  He is a mighty GOD! 

When Jesus made these commands, note that the bible says “the wind died down and it was completely calm”.  Normally, when the storm conditions cease, the effects of the storm gradually decrease.  But Jesus’ word of command was given to both elements at once, and the conditions were “completely calm”.

It is worth noting here that Jesus did not rebuke the disciples for their lack of faith until after He had removed the danger. Otherwise they would not have been in a state to listen to anything. Jesus provided for their physical needs, thus stopping their worry.

The disciples had faith—after all, it was Jesus that they applied to when they said “don’t you care if we drown?”, but they had fear (or worry), so that shows that they had little faith.  In Matthew 8:26, their level of faith is stated, “Oh you of little faith”. 

You see, faith dispels fear but only in proportion to its strength

Jesus tells us in Matthew 17:20, “…If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘move from here to there,’ and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.”  

Wow!  What a journey so far! Six weeks ago I was living life at a very fast pace--feeling healthy, finishing school, serving God tirelessly in ministry, planning trips...  Today I am in the beginning of a season which I know nothing about.  I have no idea what this journey of overcoming cancer will be like, but I do know that I serve a Powerful God, a God who loves us more than we can imagine, a God who heals.  I think this is what is meant by "stepping out in faith".  I will serve God in whatever way He calls me to serve Him.

Pastor John gave me the opportunity to share my story today with our church, Sandals Church in Temecula, CA.  The church is a family, and we felt that it is important that the family be part of this journey--a journey that will have twists and turns, roadblocks and straightaways.  My prayer is that God will be glorified through the entire journey.  I can't wait to see how His hand is in this and how He still does miracles every day.

When I was asked to share my story as it has unfolded to date, I started making notes--many from my journal. I prayed and wrote and prayed and wrote and prayed and wrote.  Here is what I shared with the church:

Ephesians 2:19 says, “you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of His household”

We are all members of one family—God’s family.  As in your biological family, the church family is committed to one another, we love each other, we support each other as we go through trials, and celebrate together in times of joy.

Right now, my husband and I are coming to you and asking you, our family, to stand by us and hold us up in prayer.

On February 9, (10 days ago) our world was rocked.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

It seems very surreal.  I have always been healthy, I have no family history of breast cancer, I get my check-ups every year and every year I get a clean bill of health. I am active and busy, and honestly, I almost expect at any moment for one of the many doctors that I am suddenly seeing, to say “Oh, we’ve made a mistake.  We have the wrong patient—you are fine Jane”.

It is amazing how we can get stopped in our tracks very quickly, and plucked right out of our comfort zone. 

I get tremendous joy serving in ministry here at Sandals Church.  I never grow weary of doing what I do here.  My life has been going at about 90 miles per hour for the past 5 months when in addition to my work, I took 15 units in college this semester to complete my degree.

Exactly one week after I completed my degree, I got my diagnosis of breast cancer.  

It looks like God said “Ok…pause!”  He hit the “pause” button on the remote control of my life. 

I don’t understand why He would allow this.  I have to be honest with you and tell you that I am dreading going through the physical and emotional discomfort that I will go through over the next few months. I absolutely love my job, so it was very hard for me to come into the office on Wednesday with everything that I do on a spreadsheet so I could sit down with Pastor John and Michelle and our staff and turn my work over to them because I will be at home for several weeks. 

But you know what??  I am also excited about what God is going to do through this. Since I first learned that something was wrong with my health,  I have been drowning myself in God’s Word.  He keeps telling me over and over again through His Word—“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go”. 

As I look out at all of you, I know in my heart that you are also experiencing some kind of pain. You may not be going through the exact same storm that Ed and I are going through, but chances are that you either: are coming out of a storm, are in the middle of a storm, or are about to enter a storm. You do not have to go through it alone.  You have a family here at Sandals Church.  Don’t go through your storms without your family.  Write your prayer requests on “The Card” in your worship folder.  This family will pray for you. We will follow up with you and walk your journey with you if you want us to.  We have a team that will bring you meals, clean your house, run errands for you.  This family will be here for you.

As soon as I was told that I had to have a breast biopsy because of abnormal findings on the ultrasound, our staff gathered around me, laid hands on me and prayed in faith that I will be healed, that my family will be comforted, and God will be glorified.  Many of you have known each step that we have been going through and have been praying diligently.  One of you came into my office when I wasn’t there and scripted on my wall Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Family has been there for me.

I know I will be healed of this cancer.  I know that God will be with me, my husband, and our kids through this.  That is huge!  We have a powerful loving God! 

But what excites me the most is that He will use this trial to change lives.  I cannot wait to see what He does. He makes a promise in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  That’s a promise!  I can’t wait to see the miracles that come from this storm.

I’m still having scans and consultations and things, but from what I understand, I will be starting chemotherapy in a couple weeks.  Once I start that, I can’t come to church because my immune system will be compromised.  I’ll have surgery after 4-6 weeks of chemo, and radiation therapy after that.  I won’t be here physically during a large part of that time, but I will be praying for you, my family.  I have also started a blog so that we can share what miracles God does and how He is glorified through this journey.   You can follow the blog by clicking on the link on our website or on Sandals Church facebook.

When God calls, I want to say “Yes Lord, send me”.  He is now sending me into a new season.

Please pray for a miracle, pray for healing, and pray that lives are changed through the grace of God during this journey of ours.